Contrasty Creeper Skin
|Known as||Red, Swampert, Redpert?|
|View profile and statistics|
Alternative account of BlueBlaziken, used primarily for afking.
< 1Catnip> Ok let me explain myself here. There are many reasons I hate RedSwampert, and I'm not sure where to start. I guess I'll start with the word "swamp". So it's objectively true that swamps are the worst biome, both in minecraft and irl. They're gross, humid, and full of icky creatures that want to eat you. I have never seen anyone live in a swamp and be happy about it. Project Eros was built in a swamp specifically for the fact that it's such a gross terrain. Drocata Swamp died out ages ago. Ask anyone from Florida or Louisiana and they'll tell you how disgusting the swamp is. Swamps are utterly useless and have to be drained to be anything useful like grounds for architecture or terrain for roads to be built on. I shudder to think of living or even being in a swamp. Swatting bugs, avoiding crocodiles, sweating my ass off, it's utterly revolting. And guess what? This dude has it in his name. This dude embraces the full definition of swamp in his name. That's repulsive. I understand that Swampert is a pokemon, and the name RedSwampert is referring to such. But I can't get the word "swamp" out of my mind when reading the name and I'm sure anyone who is unfamiliar with pokemon will too. But taking a look at the pokemon even, it's astonishing the patheticness of it. First of all, it's a water and ground type. Those two types are literally the most boring types, even more so than normal types. Think about it. Fire types are badass, ghost types are edgy and cool. But water? Congrats, buddy. You're going to slowly erode me over thousands of years. Maybe even splash me with a squirt gun. So scary. And ground? I walk on the ground. That's how beneath me it is. Ground type could be removed and EASILY replaced by rock type. That's how worthless it is. Second of all, its Japanese name is Laglarge. That is undeniable PROOF that RedSwampert's existence on the server is what is causing our lag. I mean, c'mon, LAG LARGE?! Nice try at being subtle, but you aren't fooling anyone. I should call for your ban for technical attack, but that isn't the point of this message. Thirdly, your species' gender ratio is 87.5% male to 12.5% female. How is your species even alive? If humanity was that sexually imbalanced, we would have died out before the first person even set foot out of Africa. The fact that your species continues to even exist is a miracle to the detriment of your demise. Taking a look at the anime, we can see how truly monstrous your species is. When the owner of one of your species abandoned it, it is quite understandable that it was distraught. But to the extent that the swampert completely lost its mind and abducted each member of Ash's party individually? That just shows how neurotic your species is. Lastly, RedSwampert, why on earth did you chose a swampert to be your representation? If you're going to pick a pokemon, at least pick a cool one. As I'm sure you will notice, every player on MCO who has their likeness be a pokemon has either chosen a very cool pokemon or a very well known one. Just to name a few: Darkrai, Meowth, Leafeon, Umbreon, and Blaziken. Notice how these pokemon are all well known / cool? That's because the owners of these accounts know what's actually good and not a shite pokemon. Let's talk about the usage of Red in your name. What does red have to do with anything in relation to your name? Swamperts are blue. Shiny Swamperts are pink / purple. The only thing red in a swamp is the blood in my arm being sucked out by pesky mosquitos. Where does red come into play? And even if it does, why on earth would you pick the color red? Red is the color of violence, war, and blood. Anger and frustration. Such a negative connotation to the color. I will admit, you've done a good job of describing my face whenever I see your stupid name in-game. So congratulations. I hope this message finds you well (or not), RedSwampert. To anyone else reading my explanation, I hope your anger-induced rage towards RedSwampert is a fierce and powerful as mine is. Please do me a favor and spit in his face if you ever see him in-game.
Response from me, RedSwampert: Catnip, I get that you may have had a bad day, or maybe even a bad month, but assuming opinions (like the ones I see in your silly rant) as fact is wrong, and it leads to unknowing people getting misled. In fact, there were so many things you got wrong that I feel I ought to to correct things. So, starting off, you state that swamps, are "the worst biome, both in minecraft and irl" You also state that they're gross, humid, and full of icky creatures that want to eat you. This information is wrong on so many levels. For one, swamps are incredibly interesting places, with a complex ecosystem and a large span of animals.These animals include things like alligators, amphibians, shellfish, bears and panthers. Now, anyone who exists can agree that panthers are cool, right? They belong to the Panthera genus, which includes animals like lions, tigers, and jaguars. Anyone who has a functional brain knows that these animal are cool. And panthers, along with the other wild life, make swamps very interesting, and a very good biome. You are only revolted by swamps because your puny meouth immune system will scream like a 10 year old girl when the lights turn off if you venture anywhere near contamination, however the chad swamp wildlife, can deal with the contaminants with ease. As for Minecraft, swamps would actually be good, if the minecraft community didn't vote for "snowier snow", instead of a biome with plenty of potential for interesting gameplay mechanics and blocks. Onto my next point, you state that you cannot get swamps out of your mind when you talk about swampert. I find this a perfect showcase of how swampphobic you are of Swampert, and the swamp in general. This is bad, because Swamperts all around the world are getting discriminated against because of ignorant people like you. I advise you to seek help at your local psychologist for help getting rid of this destructive tendency. Now you mock and belittle the water and ground types, by comparing them to a water gun, and the feet below you. You also glorify the other types. This is very clearly cherry picking examples, to promote your agenda. But I digress, because you know what move is a water type? Hydro Cannon. Now I'm pretty sure that if your puny ass ever got hit by a Hydro Cannon, you'd have PTSD about it for the rest of your life. Hydro Cannon is one of the best moves, often used by people challenging the elite four. And that's not all, because you know what move is ground type? Earthquake. It is one of the best ground type moves, with the capabilities to make a whole team faint. You don't fuck with Earthquake.Then, you go on to proclaim that because Swampert's name is Laglarge, it is the cause of the server's lag. This is incorrect (again, who would have guessed). First off, do you even know what Laglarge in japanese sounds like? If not, I invite you to educate yourself, right here: https://translate.google.com/?sl=auto&tl=en&text=%E3%83%A9%E3%82%B0%E3%83%A9%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B8&op=translate. It actually translates to Ragurāji, which is not Laglarge. You are correct (for once) that swamperts have an incredibly high female to male ratio, however this is because swamperts are a relatively new species of pokemon, and the reason for most pokemon having an even ratio is due to pokemon evolution over millions of years (the long term kind, not the metamorphisation crap), as it is the only stable long term ratio.
The final point you bring up is that Swampert is uncool. This is wrong. If you do not think Swampert is cool, please consult professional help. Mega Swampert especially is a ripped body builder, who would be happy to correct your heinous error. You add on to that by saying red is a bad colour, symbolizing war, violence and blood. However, this is yet another example of you cherrypicking things. Red is often used to express passion and love, energy and is often linked to taking action, This is why I am so successful at picking up girls compared to you, which is a reality you are afraid to admit.
Last, but not least, is swamp's connections to Shrek. Shrek is the greatest movie franchise and character to ever exist, and guess where he lives? A swamp. He also believes in onions, so going against shrek would also make you go against onions, which would make you a hypocrite, since you added that you actually like onions.
With that all said, I hope you now see the blatant errors you have once proclaimed, and I hope that you may learn from your mistakes, and welcome swamperts, red or not.