Grief Excuses

 Drathus42 Did you even read the rules when you logged in?
 blake7820 well i was flying everywhere so :P no i didn't see any sighns

When a griefer is inevitably caught griefing and questioned by a member of the all-seeing moderator and admin team, they usually start making up excuses in a last ditch attempt to not be banned. Over time the MCO staff have literally heard it all when it comes to grief excuses. Just for fun, here is a list of the most common excuses for griefing!

Note: For your convenience these excuses have been translated into readable English. A typical excuse found in the wild will be rife with spelling and grammatical errors, and should be approached with caution!

 GodlyCheeze why were you breaking glass up there?
 banchi5600 WELL YOU WERE BEING A DOO DOO HEAD
banchi5600 was hit with GodlyCheeze's banhammer! 

 ZiGi_FiGi lmao ops here are absolute idiots fr

The five stages of grief.

New Player excuses

• "I'm new to minecraft, I don't know how to play"
• "What block? I didn't break anything!"
• "I didn't know griefing wasn't allowed!"
• “im 4”
  • Ignorance is no excuse. Learn to play and learn the rules.
• "I am German"
  • Even Germans aren't allowed to grief.
• "But I needed stuff!"
  • You can't have THAT stuff. Go mine your own materials.
• "I WANTED IN!!!!!"
  • Stay out. It's not about what you want.
• "I was just testing to see if it was protected!"
  • Protected or not, breaking the blocks is grief. Just because something fixes it right away doesn't mean it didn't happen.
• "I'm playing on a friend's account who plays on this server, don't ban him!"
  • Your friend screwed up by letting you on his account. His bad judgement is his own fault.
• "i was wondering if it was liek doublelayered...or something" (word for word quote)
  • Keep wondering, then. It's not for you to disassemble.
• "this is my house" (someone who had played for less than an hour breaking chests in a place that had probably taken days to build)
• "I sat on my mouse"
• "My plushie fell on my mouse"
  • That has to be a heavy plushie..
• "But i needed dem wooood."
  • Get it from a tree, not this house...
• "But, no, I didnt. I'll give you diamonds?"
  • You've played on this server for less than an hour and you have diamonds? Well done. Oh and no.
• "I broke the sign because I wanted to read it. i thought I had to break it to read it."
  • Now THAT was a retarded excuse -  werdnaz
• "i no speech the english" (but lives in north carolina)
  • even if you weren't obviously an english speaker, not speaking english is never an excuse (google translate anyone?)
• "i just wanted to see if it waz real" "thought it waz fake"
  • It was a sign in our railway station. That's about as real as anything in minecraft. How could it be fake?
• "player broke glass ###" "fmxstick is checking ###" "fmxstick- why did you break that glass player?" "player- i wanted to get an egg"
  • there was an egg on the roof but it got eaten by the glass and player could not get it anyway, found it funny though.
• "Ok, my nerd friend told me he woule steal my diamond blocks if i didn't
  • "uh WAT?"
• "But the torch looked at me funny!"

 kifif im walk and i hit the torch, i’m dont know why

 thesprazzzler Why did you break the glass?
 Jannik168 fuck you you have no friends

Excuses for all occasions

• I thought wool on top of a chest was a tree!
  • uhh... what?
• "its not my fault that I don't read the rules"
  • "This makes no sense and only granted hysterical laughter to the other players."
• "I was lagging really bad!"
• "my mouse button got stuck"
• "wrong click"
  • Then log out and back in or don't click on everything around you.""
• "my brother/sister grabbed my mouse and made me do it!"
  • If you can't keep your griefer brother/sister/friend off your account, then we'll have no choice but to keep your account off our server.
• "I was told to break things"
  • And you were told by our rules not to.
• "I'm an eight year old kid and I'm just learning to read and write"
  • Start by learning to read our rules. Age don’t matter. Ignorance is no excuse.
• "look, I replaced it, why do you care?"
• "but i put it back..."
  • Doesn't matter. It wasn't yours to break. Removing and replacing blocks that were placed in order to keep you out isn't tolerated
• "Where is the proof?, show me the proof, give me the exact information" (who would you believe, the noob?, or moderator who would be removed from staff if they ever banned on false accusation on purpose?.)
  • Our grief logs report the exact time, date, location, and perpetrator. And we don't have to show you anything.
• "I was stuck"
  • Then type /home or /spawn and you're unstuck. You'd know that if you read /help
• "He griefed me first!"
• "I just like to break tings sometimes as an act for revenge becuse I get griefed much" ( Marb122)
  • All griefers get banned, even if they're griefing other griefers.
  • When you grief a griefer, you become one. It's like trying to fight fire with gas, it never works.
• "I just wanted to let the music out!"
• "what?" "what?" "what?" "what?" (courtesy of Joshuaconway, now banned)
  • If we don't feel we can get through to you and be sure that you understand and will obey our rules, you're gone. Abstract answers only convince us you're not listening and not going to listen.
• "They did it!" *points at moderator (yes, this really happened...)
• "but I placed that block!"
  • We can check to see if you're lying to us. Don't bother.
• "i was walking and my dog was walking on my lap top" ( greystripe91 after breaking glass)
• "I forgot the rules"
  • Not after 5 minutes of being online you didn't. There are only four of them and they're not hard at all to remember.
• "CAUSE YOU ARE BEING A DOO DOO HEAD!!!!"
  • That may be, but you are the griefer with a shitty attitude.
• "it was alredy broken a bit"
  • If something is already broken it still does not give you the right to break it...
• "Jesus told me to"
  • If Jesus told me to walk off a cliff i would punch him in the face and walk away.... honestly....
• "i cant read my board if you are talking to me it is stuke in spanish"

 "i can read the names but every letter in the game is in spanish"
 "mobster if u talking to me i cant read anything you type its all in spanish"
 flyingman1234567 was hit with the banhammer!

• • Ingame chat tends to be in English, and staff will usually begin an interrogation in English, Not sure how a european language on your client changes the characters to an unreadable format, answers on a postcard please........

 galazeek please 
 galazeek it wasnt me 
 galazeek i wanted to test you anti cheat 
 galazeek good job 
 galazeek you pass 
 galazeek now let me go 
 Jibletz cool story dumbass 
 ScarClaw72 LOL

Excuses for ban appeals

• "my account was hacked"
• "I wasn't griefing, that was my friend's house that we share!" (no it isn't...)
• "I didn't do it!"
• "Well the logs must be wrong!"
• "I didn't spam... My cat was walking on my keyboard!"-  fmxstick always laughs at this "<(staff)(fmxstick)> I soo called that XD"
• "i never grif in minecraft as i run so many servers my self"
  • somehow I doubt you are doing much successful running of minecraft servers, and I also doubt that you never grief, seeing as that's what you were banned for...
• "my sibling got on my account and griefed"
  • Riiiiight..... This is ALL too common of an excuse.

Chat logs

A Torch griefer

 mk59apr GMohanu, do you know the rules for this server?
 GMohanu yeah i know mk59apr
 mk59apr ok so why break torches?
 GMohanu That torch atacked me for no reasooon!
 GMohanu The torch had a bat, tp to me to show u
 GMohanu Dude, the torch atacked me
 GMohanu It was self defense!!!
 GMohanu It's legal to self defense
 GMohanu the torch told me: "I will kill u, Grrrr"
 GMohanu And I was like: "No, u won't"
 GMohanu nd broken it
 GMohanu and I am going to jail :(
 GMohanu *placed a torch*
 GMohanu oh noooooooooooooo
 GMohanu it atack me again
 GMohanu If I place the torch again, it will atack me? Or it wil wipe it's mind

A wholesome excuse

< LordOfTheShadows> Krypt3x01
< Krypt3x01> WHAT
< LordOfTheShadows> Why'd you break that torch?
< LordOfTheShadows> Well?
< Krypt3x01> IDK MISCLICK IM SORRY
< Krypt3x01> *Moments later after this oopsie: intentionally breaks wool*
< LordOfTheShadows> Okay, that wasn't an accident this time.  Care to explain why?
< Krypt3x01> I JUST WANTED TO SEE U
< LordOfTheShadows> Why did you think it was okay to break that redstone torch and wool?
< Krypt3x01> PLUS IM 1 HP

Case of Mistaken Identity

< tobioify> i will explain
< tobioify> iam secret new owner that tested staff incotingo
< tobioify> iam sory iam super new owner
< Prince__Valiant> I know the owner, I know he hasnt sold it
< Prince__Valiant> I also know he wouldn't come online with this name
< tobioify> iam testing staff i totaly know it
< tobioify> iam admiting i breaked the rules because iam new to managing servers what is server withou admin abuse?

The McO copypasta

< ibxtoydog> Chuka_Puka, do you speak English?
* no response *
< ibxtoydog> Chuka_Puka, why did you break that pink wool?
< Chuka_Puka> I sit behind bars in a damp dungeon.Sitting unwillingly Young eagle [x3]
< ibxtoydog> dont spam
< ibxtoydog> I asked you why you broke the wool
< ibxtoydog> You are in jail because you griefed
< Chuka_Puka> I sit behind bars in a damp dungeon.Sitting unwillingly Young eagle [x8]
(MCS) Chuka_Puka disconnected: You have been kicked for spam!
(MCS) Chuka_Puka joined the game.
< ibxtoydog> hey chuka!
< ibxtoydog> you're back!
< ibxtoydog> Chuka_Puka, can you answer my question? why did you break the wool?
< Chuka_Puka> I sit behind bars in a damp dungeon.Sitting unwillingly Young eagle
< ibxtoydog> stop spamming this please
< Chuka_Puka> I sit behind bars in a damp dungeon.Sitting unwillingly Young eagle
< ibxtoydog> I see you're not going to cooperate. bye!
< Chuka_Puka> bye
(MCS) Chuka_Puka disconnected: Permenantly Banned: Broke a pink wool above a chest near broncoskip
< Selimbits> I sit behind bars in a damp dungeon.Sitting unwillingly Young eagle

We Do a Little Trolling

< TheGriffinLord> Cool29
< Cool29374> What
< TheGriffinLord> So, you broke a torch on that road
< Cool29374> yes
< Floffty> he fixed it
< Floffty> there yay :)
< Floffty> happy 
< TheGriffinLord> hmm i dont think you did
< Cool29374> it was in the way of our path!
< Cool29374> sorry espanola?
< TheGriffinLord> excuse me where are you going
< Floffty> these cops mayn
< Floffty> racism
* player is rm101ed *
< Cool29374> WHERE AM I???
< TheGriffinLord> maybe now we can have a conversation
< Cool29374> im havinga heart attack
< TheGriffinLord> so, you broke the rule and replaced it, thats fine
< Cool29374> i cant breathe down here
< TheGriffinLord> but i would love to know if you can tell me our rules
< Cool29374> ok
< Cool29374> rule 1
< Cool29374> no fun
< Cool29374> i dont know the rules
< TheGriffinLord> well that wasnt too hard to admit lets go read them together
< Cool29374> no ingles
* teleport to rules *
< TheGriffinLord> lets go to your first language
< Cool29374> i am african!
< Floffty> cool speaks navajo
< Cool29374> no ingles
< TheGriffinLord> cmon cool it is really important that you read the rules
< Cool29374> i reafd them
< Cool29374> no griefing no racism!
< Cool29374> and most importantly!!!
< Cool29374> have a good tiem with friends and family!!!
< Cool29374> can i go now ples
< TheGriffinLord> well those are great sounding rules
< TheGriffinLord> but they arent ours
< Cool29374> ok ;*;
< Cool29374> im gonna cry
< Cool29374> im slow
< Cool29374> please let me go
< Cool29374> i have mental disabilities
< TheGriffinLord> ofc ill let you go but only after you read our rules
< Cool29374> i cant reads too good
< Cool29374> i cant count
< Cool29374> and icant speak
< Cool29374> please
< TheGriffinLord> i dont think i can trust you to stay here
< TheGriffinLord> good day
< Cool29374> im reading the rules
< Cool29374> right now!
(MCS) Cool29374 disconnected: Permanently banned: [Grief] broke torch on Spawn Highway

Grief Like a Team

< Anna_28> you lot want to explain what you are doing?
< WeathterT> hy
< SbsMinecraft> helloo thete
< Afo573> hello there
< SbsMinecraft> there*
< Anna_28> hm?
< SbsMinecraft> we are not doing illegal things
< Anna_28> Afo573 SbsMinecraft and WeathterT
< Anna_28> how? you are clearing griefing this place by adding hoppers below chests
< WeathterT> no, we are not destroing things
< Anna_28> in an attempt to take items by griefing
< Afo573> its no griefing
< Anna_28> it is still "grief" here
< SbsMinecraft> but that is tecnicaly legal
< WeathterT> thet is not in the rules
< Anna_28> no
< Anna_28> you do not define the rules
< WeathterT> is not totaly ilegal
< Afo573> we are not destroying anything
< SbsMinecraft> we are not destroing anything
< Anna_28> if you do not agree to our rules, I will ban you now
< WeathterT> ok
< Afo573> OK
< yourshadowdr> telling a admin what is legal on the server, well this is going to go well
< WeathterT> we thont take anithings
< SbsMinecraft> I dont do anything
< Anna_28> the rules define grief as "do not modify another player's build without their permission"
< Afo573> we will not do it again
< WeathterT> we will not make it again
< Anna_28> which includes adding and placing blocks, even if temporary
< SbsMinecraft> that was WeathterT
< WeathterT> I'm sorry
< SbsMinecraft> oh ok
< Anna_28> you clearly were trying to do harm and get around the rules
< Afo573> ok, i am so sorry i dint knew that i will not do it again
< Anna_28> why should I not ban all of you?
< Afo573> because we didnt knew the rules
< Anna_28> new players start at the rules
< Afo573> yes
< WeathterT> we agree, we yust don't understend the rules in the begening, and we are news, sorry
< IntelStar> if you get stuff out via hoppers how do you get the stuff back in?
< Afo573> i didnt memorize the rules
< Afo573> is that wrong ?
< Anna_28> if you do not want to be banned, return all the items to LordOfTheShadows
< WeathterT> we don't take anithing
< WeathterT> we have not time to
< Anna_28> and show the chests you did take from so I can confirm
< IntelStar> hope people on the wiki are keeping score this is gold lmao
< Afo573> weatherth return the items please
< WeathterT> have yust a wooden sword and some stone
< LordOfTheShadows> I see you took some items from this one
< WeathterT> yust that
< Afo573> yes
< WeathterT> from these chest
< Afo573> only in that chest
< LordOfTheShadows> and that other one
< IntelStar> oh damn greifing a mod thats like t boning a police officer
< WeathterT> we don't take anithing of that
< WeathterT> he can chek
< WeathterT> we ar new, sorry
< SbsMinecraft> we can go?
< Anna_28> one moment I am checking logs
< SbsMinecraft> ok
< Afo573> ok
< Anna_28> why did you place and break a mob spawner on a pathway in the sky?
< Afo573> because we were trying to make a surveival there
< Afo573> but it was mined by us
< Anna_28> so WeathterT was the only one who placed and broke hoppers around here?
< SbsMinecraft> yes
< Anna_28> Sbs didn't seem to actually place/break anything
< WeathterT> yes
< Anna_28> and Afo just broke some wool by the sky path
< WeathterT> but I can esplane
< Afo573> yes but all that things were of us
< Afo573> we are like a team
< Anna_28> so do I warn just Weather or all of you
< WeathterT> all of us
< Anna_28> ok
< SbsMinecraft> WeatherT
< Anna_28> lol
< Anna_28> Afo you seem to have the deciding vote
< WeathterT> ok, yust me if you want
< Afo573> all
< Anna_28> ok
< Afo573> we can go now ?
< Anna_28> yes
< SbsMinecraft> ok thank you
< Afo573> thanks you a lot
< Afo573> thanks, it will not happend again
< WeathterT> it was my fault
<6 minutes later>
< Anna_28> Weathter why'd you break the end rod? accident?
< WeathterT> yes, if was a misclik
< Anna_28> please be more careful
< WeathterT> I put it down
< WeathterT> yes
< Anna_28> I saw
<16 minutes later>
< Anna_28> WeathterT please stop accidentally breaking blocks

The torch here is torch

< teaacup> so why did you break that torch?
< zsomaZsombor> becuse that a torch

Jailbreak

< stromhurst> FAsTReTr0 why did you break the lever here?
< FAsTReTr0> im breaking the criminals out
< FAsTReTr0> so they can be free

Fatphobia

< SenatorApple> Hi Sensounakami
< SenatorApple> Why did you break a sign here? 
SenatorApple fixes said sign
< SenatorApple> What did the poor sign do to you?
< Sensounakami> uuhh
< Sensounakami> i called me fat
< Sensounakami> it
< SenatorApple> While that's not very nice, that's not a reason to grief =P

Good moderation

< BlueBlaziken> Paket
< BlueBlaziken> Why did you break that wool just now?
< paketvpakete> i wanna show my friend good moderation on this server
< Filip0706> LMAO
< BlueBlaziken> paket, please don't try and test the staff here
< paketvpakete> ok
< Freeman77> o_o
< Freeman77> thats just..
< Filip0706> Dumb
< Freeman77> right.

Why would I lie?

< JesusMRS> Hey BloodMask2019
< BloodMask2019> sup?
< JesusMRS> You broke a wool block, was it yours?
< BloodMask2019> ops
< BloodMask2019> I accidently broke
< BloodMask2019> I'm new here
< JesusMRS> So breaking 2 wool blocks on top of chests was an accident?
< BloodMask2019> yeah
< JesusMRS> BloodMask2019, I don't believe that. I might even understand one, but 2?
< BloodMask2019> dude really
< JesusMRS> So you are saying it was an accident?
< BloodMask2019> dude why would ı lie
< JesusMRS> To avoid being banned?
< BloodMask2019> dude ım new here
< JesusMRS> Just so I get it clear: you broke those 2 wool blocks on top of chest on accident, you didn't want to look inside
< JesusMRS> is that right?
< BloodMask2019> yeah
< BloodMask2019> that place is really good
BloodMask2019 was hit with the banhammer! (46956 bans)
BloodMask2019 disconnected: Permanently banned: broke 2 wool on top of chest at Goosebury

It said penis

< FuzbolMC> hey SuperAndrew2013
< SuperAndrew2013> uhh yes
< FuzbolMC> why did you break this sign
< SuperAndrew2013> it said
< SuperAndrew2013> penis
< steel36> he is a sign griefer
< steel36> breaking through the night
< steel36> he is a sign greifer
< steel36> he cant go on til the mods come
< SuperAndrew2013> it said a bad word on it
< FuzbolMC> did you read the rules SuperAndrew2013?
< SuperAndrew2013> YES
< FuzbolMC> ok what were they then?
< SuperAndrew2013> IT SAID PENIS ON THE SIGN
< WillToPara> lol
< LoganTheOnlyLord> lmao
< FuzbolMC> does not matter
< SuperAndrew2013> ok
< Crimson_Aught> bad sign
< FuzbolMC> people can write "penis" on a sign lol
< SuperAndrew2013> sorry
< Xanpi3000> WHAT ? The sign said PENIS ? How incongruous
< Crimson_Aught> good it didn't say dick
< LoganTheOnlyLord> u guys have NOT read "the evil orgy"
< FuzbolMC> so do you know the rules SuperAndrew2013?
< SuperAndrew2013> yes
< FuzbolMC> could you say what they were then?
*time passes*
*player gets rm101'd*
< FuzbolMC> please pay attention
< SuperAndrew2013> it says
< SuperAndrew2013> dont break blocks even if it is for checking
< FuzbolMC> so why did you break 2 signs then if you knew that?
< SuperAndrew2013> it said penis
< FuzbolMC> the second one did not
< SuperAndrew2013> sorry man
< eleanorsilly> PENIS IS MORALLY WRONG
< Xanpi3000> PENIS IS SIN
< SuperAndrew2013> dick is too
 SuperAndrew2013 left the game.
< WillToPara> and cock
< FuzbolMC> I dont think I can trust you to continue to play on here
< FuzbolMC> oh nvm lol
< eleanorsilly> BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
< steel36> ban that guy
< Duran3838> COCK IS...
< Duran3838> PORN
< EpicBaby> Penis is the best thing ever. Have you ever tried to use a gross, public restroom without one? I haven't.
 SuperAndrew2013 was hit with the banhammer! (50603 bans) (Grief: broke two signs at a house near the West (Blue) Nexus Branch.)

Courses of Action

• Distract the moderator by asking things like "are there any kits on the server?" "how do I craft this?" (not very effective)
• running away without answering questions hoping the moderator will just leave (about as effective as an ostrich burying its head in the sand)
• logging out, presumably to avoid a ban, but ironically making a ban almost certain
• attacking the moderator doing the grief check, almost certainly angering them
• pretending to be AFK (5 min afk is equivalent to a log-out to avoid a ban so they are banned)
• Being really stupid and breaking more blocks to make it seem like the thing is yours... Yea some people are...
• Generally not talking though moving, meaning they're evidently not AFK.

< A_sad_sigh> how do you make a server like this?
< rhyzofan> don't ask me..
< A_sad_sigh> your meen
< rhyzofan> ok
< A_sad_sigh> im only like 7 bro